Lord of the Battle

You are God Almighty,

When the world presses in hard.

You are God Almighty,

When the tears are the only true,

Cry of the heart.

 

You are God Almighty,

When muteness seizes me,

And lays hard on my chest,

And I’m saying many words,

Yet I’m saying nothing at all.

 

You are God Almighty,

When I can’t stop the raging storm.

You are God Almighty,

When I have all the right answers,

Yet I still can’t stop the attack.

 

You are God Almighty,

When I am wounded and weak and hurting.

You are God Almighty,

When I don’t know my own name.

 

You are God Almighty,

When my soul rages like a storm.

You are God Almighty,

When I can’t quell the panic and the pain in my chest,

No matter how hard,

I try.

 

You are God Almighty,

When alone on my bed,

The Accuser comes.

You are God Almighty,

When my own heart,

Turns traitor,

And joins in accusing me.

 

You are God Almighty,

When all I want,

Is for the pain to stop.

You are God Almighty when all I want,

Are answers.

 

You are God Almighty,

When I kick and sputter and thrash.

You are God Almighty,

When I plead for peace,

And find none.

 

You are God Almighty,

Who is allowing the conflict,

To bring me to greater peace,

On the other side.

 

You are God Almighty,

When I battle Apollyon.

You are God Almighty,

When I’m wounded,

And the darts stick fast.

 

You are God Almighty,

When it seems there is no way,

For me to avoid being wounded.

 

You are God Almighty,

Who gives me moments of respite and encouragement,

During the long and drawn out battle.

 

You are God Almighty,

Who bathes my wounds with Your living water,

And anoints them with the oil,

Of Your great and precious promises,

And then,

Sends me back out into battle.

 

And You send me forward with this promise,

That You are with me,

Though I see You not.

And You send me into the fray,

With this promise,

That You still hold me,

Though I feel You not.

 

And You promise,

That You are the one who holds my hands up,

And I will not fail,

Though I feel like,

I already am.

 

You are God who promises,

That the conflict is not in vain.

You are God who promises,

That He is with me,

And that the fruit borne through this,

Will be well worth it.

 

You are God who sustains me,

Though I can find no rest.

You are God who leads me to quiet moments of refreshment,

When I least expect them.

 

I fight to survive.

I fight for every breath.

And yet I know,

Not for one moment,

Am I truly in danger.

For You hold my life in Your hands,

And I still dwell with You.

 

You are God with me in the battle,

Though all my heart wants,

Is for the battle to cease.

You are God who loves me in the midst of the battle,

Though all I feel,

Is doubt and fear and condemnation and pain,

In my breast.

 

You are God who sustains my spirit,

Though my heart and my flesh fail.

And I live,

And I breathe,

Because You want me to.

 

And though I am so weak,

I cannot speak,

Yet You sustain my spirit,

And I am strong,

Even in my weakness.

 

And I don’t understand it,

But inside of my warring flesh,

You are as strong as a lion.

And my soul rests by Your side,

Even as my heart and flesh,

Find no rest.

 

Paradox at once absurd,

And true.

Almighty God who fellowships with me and sustains me,

Through the every moment raging conflict.

 

God who lifts me up on eagle’s wings.

God who makes a pasture for my soul,

Underneath my feet.

 

And the rocks yield water,

And the stones become bread,

And this which is the bread of affliction,

Is a feast of good to me,

Though I may know it not,

In the moment.

 

When I drink my own tears,

And I feast on affliction’s bread,

I do not realize,

What is happening in my soul.

God who is doing battle for me,

And with me,

In deepest places,

I know not.

 

God who brings forth fruit,

In the deepest places of the soul,

That even my own eyes,

Cannot see.

 

I cannot see where You are.

I cannot see the fruit that grows here.

But deep, deep inside me,

And almost beyond the reach of my consciousness,

Something groans.

And my soul utters,

Heavenly mysteries in heavenly language,

That astound and baffle even me.

 

My soul speaks to me,

Of things my heart knows not.

And in the night seasons,

My soul instructs me,

In the deepest language,

That I know not.

 

And from the midst of raging seas,

And naught but raging panic,

In mind and flesh,

Comes out this song of the heavenlies,

That is the groan of my own soul,

And yet is nothing,

That I have penned in my own flesh.

 

I open my mouth,

And out pours this song,

I know not.

I move my fingers,

And my soul speaks mysteries,

And tells me answers,

My mind has not conceived.

 

I move my fingers,

And I see a miracle,

Unfolding before my eyes.

Because that which I have not thought nor conceived,

Comes pouring forth,

And it is exactly,

What my heart needed to hear.

 

You feed me,

From within my own soul.

You bring me water,

From out of the depths,

Of my own inner places,

And bid me drink.

 

And how can it be,

That rivers of living water,

Really flow in me,

When I am such,

A conflict?

 

How is it that in the midst of the battle,

I can find no peace,

But I move my fingers here,

And peace comes out,

And nurtures me?

 

How is it that you nurture me,

From within my own soul?

Son of God who has never left me,

And who lodges deeper within me,

Than I know.

 

When my strength,

And my heart,

And my flesh,

Fail,

Yet from somewhere within me,

In the deepest part,

Up You flow,

To sustain me.

 

God Almighty,

Who is deeper than I know.

God Almighty,

Who works within me,

To make me,

Deeper still in righteousness.

 

God who leads us,

Through the valleys,

Filled with shadows.

God who leads us,

Through the places,

Of our deepest conflicts,

And fears.

 

God who gives us rest,

And bathes our wounds,

And nurtures us,

And gives us strength,

To fight on,

Though we feel,

As weak as death.

 

God who somehow,

Brings us through,

When we are sure,

We are already dead,

And defeated.

 

Yet we fight on,

And we die not.

And though every moment,

And every breath,

Is a battle,

Yet we live.

And Your abundant life and promises,

Sustain us.

Even when our hearts lie to us,

And tell us we are alone,

And dead.

 

When our heart and flesh fail,

You hold us up.

When our strength is spent,

Yet Your right hand sustains us,

And holds us fast.

And somehow we find ourselves,

Going far beyond,

That place where we said,

We surely died.

 

God Almighty who holds me up,

I will rejoice in You.

I will rejoice in Your everlasting love.

And I will drink deeply of this,

Which I do not deserve.

 

And I will drink deeply of this,

Your victory in me.

Your victory that is never defeated or thwarted,

Even when,

I forget it.

 

But You are victorious,

In me,

Even when,

Your face is hid from my eyes.

 

And when the conflict ends,

And the veil is lifted,

And the dust settles,

And I see You transfigured in glory again,

It will stun and baffle me,

Something even stronger.

 

God Almighty,

Who is better than I know.

Son of God,

Who is more powerful and ferocious within me,

Than I have even yet imagined.

 

God within me.

And I will be amazed one day,

When I see just how strong,

And how holy,

And how almighty,

You really are,

In me.

 

I participate in the divine nature,

And the fullness of the Godhead,

Dwells within me,

In ways that I cannot,

Conceive.

 

And one day,

I will be amazed,

When I see it fully.

 

But for now,

I walk through battles,

Designed to show me,

Just this.

How deeply and fully,

The Godhead dwells,

Within me.

And just who this God is,

Whom I house and commune with and confess.

 

God Almighty,

Who unleashes Himself in the battle.

And all my boxes,

And all my limitations,

And all my lack of fear,

And reverence for You,

Are pushed hard,

And shattered,

In the battle.

 

And I see the Lord of the battle,

For the Almighty God,

That He is.

 

And I stand in awe,

And fear and trembling,

At the limitless God,

Of the battle.

 

And all my boxes,

And words,

Seem to fail.

And I know You,

Yet I know You not.

 

Yet,

I know You.

 

And all Your fearsome glory,

Befits You,

Son of God.

 

Almighty God,

Resplendent in glory,

And bigger than the whole of the universe.

 

And there is no space,

Nor concept,

That could contain You.

And yet here You are,

Before the eyes,

Of my soul,

Somewhere,

Down deep.

 

I see You from a distance,

And I am undone.

I see You within my soul,

And I am caught up,

In a wave,

Bigger than me.

 

I am not alone in my soul.

And how does a soul,

Dwell in fellowship,

With the Living God,

Who is too powerful for the world to contain,

And too holy for angels to look upon?

 

Yet You are here,

And You rage like an ocean,

And You burn like a thousand suns,

And who can stand before You?

Yet I do.

Every moment.

 

And I tremble at the thought.

That Almighty God,

Burns with fury,

In my bosom,

At all times.

 

And Almighty God,

Sees my naked soul,

In all its smallness,

And frailty,

In every moment.

 

The ocean of God,

Never leaves.

The brilliance of the Son,

Never fades.

 

Whether hidden from my eyes,

Or revealed,

Yet You are every moment the fullness,

Of the Living God,

In me.

 

And how does a soul,

Walk forward in life,

Knowing that?

 

How does a soul,

Process that?

Chew on it and understand it,

And learn to live,

Before the unbridled presence,

Of the Living God,

Every moment.

 

How does the small soul,

Look at the limitless God,

And tremble,

Every moment,

And every day?

 

How does the human soul,

Walk with the Almighty God,

In green pastures,

And beside still waters,

There in the depths of the soul?

There in the secret places of the deepest communion?

 

How does the soul ever go deep enough,

To find the deepest place of communion,

With You?

 

You lead us here.

 

Through the valleys,

And the battles,

And the green pastures,

And the mountaintops,

You lead us here.

 

And every glimpse,

And every trial,

And every season,

Is intended to make us deeper,

In holiness.

Is intended to take us deeper,

Into the communion place,

With You.

 

And each season,

And each shifting,

And each battle,

And each ordeal,

And each moment,

No matter how small,

Is working to blast through the walls of our understanding,

And blow wide open the soul,

To expand it to take in,

The whole of the throne room of God.

 

And everything that shatters,

Only opens us up all the wider,

To You,

Almighty God.

 

The world is not wide,

Or deep enough,

To fit You.

Yet You wrestle with human souls,

And break us wide open,

To expand to fit,

The communion with You.

 

You expand us to fit,

The communion and the knowing,

Of the Almighty God.

~Selah~

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s