A Hair’s Breadth Away From the High King of Heaven

The King beckons,

And I find my soul drawn.

 

I come,

Not knowing fully,

What I will find here,

In our time together,

But only knowing,

That He calls.

 

And so I come.

 

Spirit tugs at spirit,

And I come.

I find myself,

Compelled.

 

The lure of the King,

Grabs me down in my deepest place,

And I cannot resist.

Stubbornness and flesh,

Are no match for the allure,

Of the Matchless One.

 

And all that is of weakness and flesh,

Melts away.

And I come.

Driven by a spirit,

Stronger than I know,

I come.

 

Matchless One,

Whose glory fills my chest,

And whose presence seeps into my bones,

And my soul is as strong as steel,

And as tender and vulnerable,

As a newborn babe.

 

Your presence here,

Strengthens me,

And I can bend a bow of bronze.

Your presence here,

Humbles me,

And my soul melts out of me,

Gratitude and praise and tears,

Puddle at Your feet.

These,

The prayers of the soul.

 

Mighty One,

You beckon,

And I come.

 

And I find You here.

 

High King of heaven,

And I am almost touching You.

My King is here,

And I know it.

And the reality of it,

Breaks my heart,

And I can hardly stand it.

 

I am all but touching,

The High King of heaven,

As He stands with me here,

And communes with my heart.

 

I want to reach through the veil,

Of realms that separate us.

I want to cross the river,

To the other side.

 

Heaven seems right here,

A hair’s breadth away,

And I want to cross the divide,

And enter fully in.

 

My Almighty King is here,

And almost close enough to touch,

And so much of the fire burns in me,

I can hardly restrain myself.

 

And Your presence here,

Consumes me.

So beautiful,

And so strong,

I can barely stand it.

And yet,

I cannot get enough.

 

So wonderful,

And tender,

And awesome,

And powerful,

And beautiful.

And the longing,

And the response it stirs in me,

Is so high and wonderful,

As to be painful.

 

And yet,

While I think it might consume me,

I cannot live,

Without it.

 

And my highest longing,

Is to cross the hair’s breadth,

And come fully into You.

Yet I would stay here,

As long as my King deems good,

For I would yet,

Reap a harvest for Him,

That on the day when I see His face,

I come not empty handed.

 

And so my heart breaks in two.

The desire to depart,

And cross the river,

And wade into You,

Is the strongest,

By far.

 

And it burns like a fire,

In my bosom.

I am lit on fire,

With a passionate desire,

For my King,

In this moment,

As I stand before Him,

The Beautiful One.

The One who so undoes me.

 

And yet,

There is also a strong resolve,

To live a life,

Worthy of the pleasure,

Of my King.

A life worthy,

Of His name.

 

And I would not face Him,

One moment sooner,

Than that I have a harvest,

To lay before His feet.

 

I would not face my King,

Empty handed.

I would not come,

Without an offering,

To bring.

 

I love You, my King,

Who has done everything for me.

My King who has died for me,

And by whose blood,

I enter into mercy.

 

I sit in Your presence,

And You commune with me,

In the place of the cross.

And as I speak to You,

Your cross speaks mercy over me.

 

And it almost seems,

As though the cross were falling upon me.

And the mercy of God,

Wrapping its bloodstained arms around me,

Again,

And again,

Every moment.

 

Mercy given once,

And yet,

Forever.

 

And as many moments as I stand here with You,

Mercy pours out over me.

And I think it’s less like a stamp or a seal,

And more like a waterfall.

 

Your mercies are new,

Every morning.

And Your compassions,

Fail not.

 

Your lovingkindness,

Is steadfast.

Your love is a fountain,

That never ceases to flow.

 

You are the One,

Who never stops giving.

You are goodness and mercy,

That ever flow,

And ever pursue,

And overtake us.

 

And I’m always amazed,

When Your goodness and mercy,

Catch me unawares,

And throttle me to the ground.

 

I’m overtaken,

Ravaged,

And undone.

 

My soul drinks mercy and goodness,

From a rushing waterfall.

And how can a small soul,

Take in a great God,

And His rushing mercy?

 

How can the least of these,

Take in,

The Highest One of heaven,

In all His fearsome glory?

 

How does the soul,

Even begin to drink,

Of Your violent grace?

 

Your grace that comes to us,

As gentle as a lamb,

And as fearsome,

As a lion.

 

Your grace that soothes us,

And comforts us,

And speaks tenderly to us.

Your goodness that ravages us,

And we are turned inside out,

And our souls explode,

With the glory of the God of heaven.

 

And how does a soul,

Even begin,

To take You in?

 

O, God who overtakes us,

And overwhelms us,

With Himself!

 

And we would enter heaven,

No other way.

But that You have overtaken us,

And thrust us underneath Your waterfall,

And now we’re utterly overwhelmed and undone,

By the God of heaven.

 

And I’m standing before this High God of heaven.

Holy King,

At once the Lion,

And the Lamb.

 

Lamb who was slain,

And the blood that covers.

Your blood smeared over me,

And You recognize me as Yours,

Through the blood.

 

Lion of the tribe of Judah.

Mighty King,

Who sits on the throne,

And rules over all.

 

Sovereign God,

Who judges all the earth.

Sovereign King,

Who holds the keys,

Of Death and Hades.

 

Sovereign God of all the universe,

With eyes that pierce,

And see and sever,

Naked hearts.

 

Sovereign God who holds the scepter of judgement,

And who will one day,

Call all men to account,

And will set right,

All that is wrong in the world.

 

Sovereign, fearsome God,

Whom the angels hide their faces from,

And whose wrath,

Heaven and earth flee from.

 

Yet You come here,

Cloaked in mercy,

And You meet me as my Sovereign King,

Who is also,

My Great High Priest.

My advocate before the Father,

And the Lamb who was slain for me.

 

How can I not love You,

O, my King?

Son of God who gave Himself for me.

Son of God who will judge the world,

Who chooses,

To love me.

 

How can I not love You,

Who is mercy and goodness to me,

In a rushing waterfall?

How can I not love You,

Who is standing right here,

And loving me first?

~Selah~

 

Always, my King,

You are loving me first.

And my love is only ever,

response to Yours.

 

Your kindness,

Leads me to repentance.

Your goodness,

Leads me to love.

Your mercy,

Leads me to worship.

Your fellowship,

Is better than life.

 

To taste the fellowship of the King,

Is to be undone,

And ruined for anything else.

 

O, King,

That You would come,

And meet with small and insignificant me!

 

King of highest heaven,

Who comes to one lowly speck of dust,

And brings His glory here,

To fellowship.

 

I scarce can take it in.

Except that the reality of it,

Thrills my soul.

And heaven is a hair’s breadth away,

And the King is here,

And I want nothing more,

Than to go to Him.

 

Yet I am resolved,

To live a life worthy of His pleasure,

In the time that He has given me,

To live here.

 

King of heaven,

You come,

And the soul becomes so much more,

Than it is.

 

You come,

And in Your presence,

Mortals of dust,

Are transformed into vessels of glory.

 

Cowards,

Are transformed into warriors,

As the grace of You,

And the face of You,

Steels courage in our breasts.

 

Gluttons,

Are transformed into servants,

And all selfishness is quenched.

For the beauty of You,

Stirs men’s hearts,

To sacrifice and lay down,

Themselves to the King.

 

The bitter,

Are transformed into lovers of mercy.

As the mercy of the blood,

Pours out like a waterfall upon their heads,

Their pride is ruined and undone,

And they know themselves to be sinners,

Blessed with a kindness they do not deserve.

 

And as they realize that they every moment,

Need Your mercy,

They can no longer withhold it from any other.

But as with one hand they receive it,

So with the other they pour it out.

 

And as long as the eternal waterfall pours out upon them,

So too they must and gladly will,

Pour out mercy upon others.

 

Almighty God,

Merciful King,

To look upon You,

And to fellowship in the knowing of You,

Is all that I desire.

 

To see You,

Is to be transformed.

To commune with You,

Is to find that my heart,

Starts beating Your will.

 

Beautiful One,

You are treasure I seek.

And You are the only motivation,

For a holy life.

 

To taste You,

Is to want righteousness,

Simply because,

You are righteous.

And I want You.

 

For You are the most beautiful thing,

I have ever seen,

Or known.

 

You light the world on fire with glory,

And everything speaks to me of You.

And You are far greater and more glorious,

Than anything this world,

Can even begin to whisper about.

 

The most beautiful thing here,

It pales.

O, God!

After seeing You,

All the beauty of the world,

Seems muted.

 

And what is beautiful,

Is the name of the God,

That all the beauty of creation,

Speaks of.

 

What is beautiful,

Is the song they declare,

And the name they proclaim.

In their cries,

And their offerings,

I see glimpses of You.

 

And it’s the seeing of You,

That thrills my heart.

For it’s the King that I want,

And am living for.

 

O, glorious King,

Who comes and fellowships,

With small and weary,

Pilgrim hearts.

 

High King of heaven,

Who is my highest reward,

And treasure.

 

That You would come to me,

While I’m still on the journey,

And fellowship with me here,

Is grace,

Insurmountable,

Inconceivable,

And unutterable.

 

You are my treasure,

And my reward,

And my joy,

And my fellowship,

High King.

 

I will go anywhere,

To stay here,

With You,

Where Your presence dwells.

 

I will do anything,

And give anything,

To spend all the days of my life here,

Living a hair’s breadth from heaven.

Living in the exhaling,

Of the presence of the Son of God.

 

I will do anything,

To stay here with Your face.

For a life less than this,

Is death to me.

 

You are life eternal.

And Your fellowship, O King,

Is the only thing,

That matters.

 

And I will be all righteousness,

That I might stay here,

In Your righteous presence,

With You,

In perfect fellowship.

 

And it is worth it,

To let You bear and prune and tend,

The fruit of righteousness in me.

For the pleasure of Your fellowship,

And the fellowship of Your pleasure,

Are worth a million trials,

And more.

 

Remind me when I forget,

How beautiful You are.

 

Be near me in fellowship like this,

And I will go anywhere.

I will do anything.

 

You are the King who fills me,

And holds me up.

Strengthens me,

And makes me able.

 

You are the God who does the impossible in me.

And by Your grace within,

I will give my yes to You,

Because You chasten and encourage me,

And strengthen me to.

 

And by Your grace,

If You continue to give me strength,

I will give my yes to You,

All the days of my life,

If only my soul may stay here,

A hair’s breadth away,

And closer still,

To You,

My King.

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