I Am Zurishaddai

You are God Almighty,

Who strengthens me.

You are God Almighty,

Who never fails me.

 

You are God Almighty,

Who stirs up my heart to utter prayers,

And then receives my prayers,

As incense.

 

You are God Almighty,

Whose Spirit stirs within me,

To call out Your name,

And ask for wisdom,

And fruits of righteousness.

 

You stir me to utter prayers,

I would not otherwise want,

Or know.

You are God Almighty,

Who gives my heart the desires for You,

And then God Almighty,

Who answers them.

 

You are God Almighty,

Who wrestles with my heart,

In the deepest place,

And makes me to want You.

More than anything else.

 

You are God Almighty,

Who allows storm and trial and testing,

To grow the roots of faith,

Deep down.

To produce a deep crop,

Of righteousness here.

 

You are God Almighty,

Who will Himself,

Bring forth the harvest,

In my own soul.

 

You are God Almighty who produces,

And one day will reap,

A harvest of righteousness,

From my soul.

 

You do it all,

From beginning to end. 

Yet on the day when You reap the harvest,

You will turn to me,

And say, “Well done.”

~Selah~

 

And what will have done, Lord?

Nothing!

If there is any faithfulness in me,

Is it Your doing!

You who wrestles with my heart,

From first to last,

It is all You!

 

Yet one day,

You will count all this harvest,

To my name.

 

O Lord,

I am an unworthy servant!

 

For it is You,

Who has brought me through all these storms.

It is You,

Who turns my heart from selfish stone,

To one that beats and longs,

With fire and tenderness,

For You.

 

It is You,

Who makes me to desire You.

It is You,

Who captivates my heart,

With Your beauty and life.

 

It is You.

 

Beautiful One,

It is You.

And just by virtue of Your beauty alone,

I am captivated,

Transfixed,

And transformed.

 

Your glory burns a hole through all my flesh,

And burns like a fire in my soul.

And I am lit on fire,

With the High God of heaven.

 

God Almighty,

You are the beautiful and faithful one.

 

You are God who hears me when I call,

And who comes to my aid.

You are God who fills my mouth with the breath,

And the words,

To call out Your name in the storm.

 

And You are God,

Who then comes and answers me,

Draws me up out of the many waters,

And gives me all that I asked for.

All that Your Spirit stirred me to cry for.

 

You fill my heart with desires for You,

And Your righteousness,

And glory.

And then You answer the desires,

Of my heart.

 

O, God,

You do it all,

From first to last.

And I just stand here amazed,

At the miracle I have just been a part of.

 

Moments like this,

I am keenly aware of it,

The miracle happening in my soul.

Moments like this,

Heaven fills my chest,

And I tremble at the reality,

Of what is happening here.

 

I see myself,

A promise of Scripture,

Unfolding before my very eyes.

And I’m stunned.

Amazed.

 

My heart is that one right there,

On the page.

And I’m in Your perfect will,

And plan.

 

God who looks at my soul,

And the storms,

And the trials,

And the heart beating all sorts of tenderness,

And messes,

Within,

And calls it good.

 

God who grows roots of steadfastness,

Down deep in me.

And I call out Your name in the storm,

And the trial turns into an adventure,

And the sorrow turns into a joy,

And I wonder if I’m not a bit crazy for thinking so.

 

Then I read in Your word,

About how we’re to count our trials as joys,

And my heart and my face,

Smile.

And I laugh and shake my head.

Because once again,

You are faithful.

 

Faithful to create righteousness in me,

And faithful to encourage me and tell me,

What You’re doing.

Faithful to stir me to ask for wisdom,

And then to lead me to a passage,

Where we’re told to ask for just that!

 

You put words on my lips,

I never would choose.

And then You speak Scripture to my heart,

As if to seal the promise,

And tell my heart,

“Yes, dear one,

You’re right.

That stirring deep inside you,

That is Me.”

 

“The fire in your belly,

The passion and the strength,

That seem to have arisen in your soul,

From the depths of your being,

And been formed out of nothing,

That is Me.

 

Dear one,

I live within you.

And I stir you,

And make you to breathe and live,

From the inside out.”

 

God Almighty,

Who strengthens me from within my chest,

Right in the middle of the battle.

And Your resolve within me,

Is as strong as steel.

And my withering flesh,

Has an iron core.

And I’m amazed.

 

God of heaven who burns within,

Human flesh.

 

God Almighty,

Who would come to me,

Weak and trembling human that I am,

And live in fullness within me,

In the midst of the battle.

 

God who never leaves me,

Or forsakes me.

God who has made me His permanent home.

Yet, O, how pitifully,

I remember that!

 

And if I knew,

And remembered,

The High God of heaven in my chest,

I would never fear anything,

Again.

 

You are God who allows me to go through trials,

And it is a blessing,

Though it feels like a death,

In the moment.

 

But You let me go through the trials,

And those places where You are there and encouraging me,

But the swarms are louder,

And I can barely hear You.

It’s all I can do to fight,

To keep breathing.

 

But You let me go through,

And fight and flail,

And sometimes I think,

That I’m not doing it well.

But there’s always a point,

When in the midst of my crying out to You,

It breaks,

And there’s a rainbow,

And a promise,

And a calm.

 

And in that moment,

I feel the presence of the Most High God with me,

And I know You’ve been here inside my chest,

All along.

 

And not only that,

But I feel Your pleasure beaming on me,

And warming my soul.

And I know my Father,

And my Savior,

Are pleased with me.

 

Like a child,

You chasten me.

And like a child,

You delight in me.

 

And I can scarce take in,

The blessing You’ve just given me,

And the joy of it all.

 

That You would look inside my conflict ravaged soul,

And rejoice in it.

That the small and feeble pebbles of faith,

Flung from a battle-weary soul,

In a desperate rage,

Would actually,

Be pleasing to You.

 

That You would actually,

Rejoice,

In this,

And reward me with Your pleasure,

And Your satisfied soul.

 

Lord,

It baffles,

And astounds,

And thrills.

 

These small arrows,

That seemed to do little more,

Than stir the hornet’s nest,

When backed by Your mighty hand,

Really matter.

 

And it’s not really,

My feeble pebbles,

That did the damage,

And won the day.

But it’s the God of heaven,

Who came in behind me,

And fought for me,

Following behind the flung stone,

Who chased the demons away,

And won the day.

 

God Almighty,

Who alone has the power,

And authority,

To win the day.

 

And You fight for me.

And when I take one feeble step,

You rush forward with all the power of heaven,

To fight where I have stood.

 

All You ask me to do,

Is step,

And stand,

And fight the very little,

That I can.

 

To stand faithfully,

On the rock,

You’ve given me,

To stand on.

To defend it,

At all costs,

Against the enemy.

 

My arms are strong as noodles,

And my resolve wavers like a jello mold,

But You strengthen me.

I turn tail and run,

Flee for the caves,

Let the enemy into my mind,

And entertain his thoughts,

But You pull me back into the battle,

And stir me to stand,

And fight.

 

You bring me back to the rock,

Put my feet on it,

And tell me again,

To stand.

 

Though I see You not,

Through the swarm and darkness,

Yet I have the faintest sense of You,

And I find the courage,

To stand and fight.

 

I take one small step,

I fling my few small stones,

I heave with all my might,

Shouting, bleeding, sweating and weeping,

As I heave.

 

I close my eyes,

And thrust whatever strength I have left,

Forward into the fray.

Eyes blinded by swarm and darkness,

I thrust my body forward,

And shove it back with all I’ve got,

Uttering promises and praise,

Through bloodied lips and soul.

 

And that’s when it happens.

That’s when You come from somewhere unseen behind me,

And push back the darkness,

With Your blinding light.

 

The enemy falls,

And all the darkness bows to You,

And even the enemy yields to You,

And confesses Your name.

You are Lord of all.

 

And just as instantly as that,

I am standing in perfect peace.

And where sorrow and despair where just standing in my soul,

Are now joy and rejoicing.

 

And my soul is the grounds of a miracle.

And I know it.

And the next morning,

I wake to joy and peace.

I relish the quiet and the peace,

Where yesterday was a battlefield.

I stand on the mountaintop,

Of Your victory here.

 

And You won the victory,

And all I did was throw a few stones,

At Your patient prompting.

And Your name,

Is the one that won the victory.

Yet You look into my eyes and You speak it like a balm,

“Well done.”

 

I did nothing but flounder,

And You rescued me,

More times than I can count.

Yet You are pleased with me?

And You give my soul the gift of Your pleasure,

And Your accolades?

 

O, Son of God!

How can You treat me so?

Yet I am endeared to You all the more,

Faithful One.

 

And my name,

I find it tucked inside the Scriptures today.

And it is this:

Zurishaddai.

“The Almighty,

Is my rock,

And strength.”

 

And isn’t that my song,

And my name today?

 

And this one too,

Is my name,

And I find it:

Ammishaddai,

“The Almighty,

Is with me.”

And it also means,

“The people,

Of the Almighty.”

 

And this too,

Is my name.

And I will learn these well.

 

I am Zurishaddai,

For the Almighty is my rock,

And my strength.

And I am Ammishaddai,

For the Almighty is with me,

And I am one of His people,

Called by His name.

 

I love You,

O Lord my strength.

Beautiful one,

And the restorer of my song,

And the lifter of my head.

 

God who fills my lungs with air to breathe.

God who fills my soul with joy,

And peace again.

 

And I have found the way back,

To the peace of Your fellowship,

And the joy of the worship,

Of You.

 

God, my victory.

Jesus Christ,

Who is the victory.

And the Lord of the battle,

And who makes me,

A trophy of His victory,

And the scent of victory,

Up the the Father.

 

You are the greatest reward.

To depart and be with You now,

Would be the highest thing,

This soul could receive,

And the height,

Of all it longs for.

 

Yet to live here with You,

And know You,

In every battle,

And every trial,

And every high and low place,

And to walk with You,

Across this earth’s sod,

And serve and walk beside You,

In fellowship with You,

My King,

Is blessing indeed.

 

To be able to know You like this,

And to take these treasures of knowing,

With me,

And to be a blessing,

And a joy to You,

And to be like You,

When I see You,

Is my pleasure and delight,

And my very great reward,

Indeed.

 

You are good, Lord.

And You do all things well.

 

From beginning to end,

You do all things well.

And I want to do it Your way,

For You will create greater beauty,

And greater reward,

Than I ever could.

 

Do it Your way, Lord.

I delight in Your ways,

For they are always good.

 

God of the discipline,

God of the battle,

God who transforms our souls,

Through trial,

Into perfect fruits of righteousness.

 

I delight in You.

You do all things well.

 

Beautiful One,

You are the treasure,

And the reward,

Both here and now,

And forevermore.

 

I rejoice in You now,

And I will worship You,

Forever.

 

My King,

My Lord,

My God,

My High Priest,

My treasure,

And my reward.

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