My Favorite Gift

Almighty God,

You meet with me.

You know me.

You speak to me,

From the inside out.

 

And I am amazed that You do.

 

You are God who chose me.

God who set His love upon me,

When I had done absolutely nothing,

To deserve it.

 

You are God who chose to choose me,

Before ever I had done anything,

Either good or bad.

Before I was born,

Or even conceived,

You spoke my name.

You wrote it,

And You declared me Yours.

 

God who chose me,

And instantly that choice,

Made me valuable.

 

You are God Almighty,

Who has made me a treasured thing.

God who set His love upon me,

And made me a victory,

And a trophy,

And a treasure.

 

You chose me.

I didn’t choose You.

And I look at all my life,

And all that You have brought me through,

And the reality of it hits me square between the eyes.

 

All that I have,

All that I am,

All this good and holy that my life churns,

Is only mine,

Because You decided to give it to me.

 

Because You chose me,

And chose to be relentless in Your love to me,

I grow.

I live.

I have been set free,

From so many chains.

And my heart beats,

With real life and joy.

 

And all of this,

Not by virtue of my own good choices,

But in spite of all my bad ones.

 

You set Your love upon me,

And You determined to love me,

And to give me life,

And because of Your determined pursuit,

I live.

 

I live,

And I thrive,

And I grow,

Because You have relentlessly,

Pursued me with grace.

 

Because You have wrestled with me,

And have not given me rest,

Under any of the rocks,

I’ve tried to hide myself beneath.

 

I live,

Because You’ve gripped my heart,

And pulled me into You.

Against all odds,

I am a breathing soul.

 

I taste heavenly things,

Because You make me to feast.

I live hope,

Where once there was only despair.

 

I thrill at the touch of joy,

Because for so many years,

I knew only sorrow.

And joy was only something I strove after,

But never found.

 

I treasure peace,

Because my native tongue,

Was restless guilt,

And angst-filled despair.

 

For years I didn’t know,

What it was to taste of the kingdom.

But now I do.

And I owe all that,

To You.

 

God who took me,

And drew me up,

Out of many waters.

God who filled my heart with songs,

A melody of hope,

I would never have imagined,

Possible.

 

You are God who has lifted me higher,

Than I ever dreamed I could go.

You are God who has filled my soul,

With so many good things,

That I despaired,

I would never have.

 

I didn’t know I could be so full of You.

I didn’t know I could be so content.

I didn’t know I could thrill so much,

Inside of my soul.

Didn’t know I could swell with Your joy,

And the fellowship with You,

Regardless,

Of my outward life.

 

I didn’t know You could satisfy,

So thoroughly.

I didn’t know Your presence could be,

So real.

And powerful.

 

That Your words could be more than words to know.

That they could be a real Living God,

To really know,

Here in my own chest.

 

But You are this,

And so much more.

 

And all those years,

When I thought I cried alone,

And I knew Your presence not,

Yet You were the God who was there,

Seeing me,

And working grace like a river,

All through and underneath,

My soul.

 

And I didn’t know it then,

But You were eroding all my hardened heart,

And cutting through my closed off places,

With Your steady and tender,

Drip of grace.

 

And now I’m a heart,

Softened,

And cut through.

I’m a heart that’s still,

Alive and growing,

And a work in progress.

But what was once dead,

Is now a beating thing.

 

This heart once made of stone,

Is now a heart of flesh.

And it’s tender.

And it bleeds.

And it beats,

And it breaks and stretches and grows.

 

And it thrills and swells,

At You.

You make my heart,

And my soul,

To live.

 

God who has given me life,

How can I ever truly thank You?

You raised my heart from the dead,

With Your love.

 

You loved my heart,

Right out of the cold and the grave.

And I was content to be stony and hard,

But You loved me,

Until I came alive,

With a shriek of tenderness,

And feeling.

 

You loved me,

Until all that I had tucked away,

And turned to stone,

Turned tender again.

And I cried out at the feeling.

 

But You loved me,

Through the feeling pain,

And into an even deeper,

And more tender place.

 

A place of beauty,

And not of torture.

A place of joy,

And hope,

And love.

 

And I tasted them,

And knew in that moment,

That I had never truly known,

What it was to feel before.

 

I didn’t know what feeling was,

Until Your grace lifted me,

To a place of life.

A place of joy.

 

I didn’t know what seeing was,

Until You flooded my soul with light,

And opened up my eyes.

And I was amazed,

At all the color and vibrancy,

That I never knew existed.

 

I didn’t know what joy was,

Until You made me to hope,

In Your tender love.

And I thought I was flying,

Soaring high on eagle’s wings.

And I’d never ever before,

Seen the world from up high,

Like this.

 

God who flooded my soul with life,

And made me live.

I think of it,

I remember,

And the change is so striking,

And so drastic.

 

I remember feeling,

Like I was out of my mind,

And finally in my right mind,

At the same time.

 

God who turned my world,

From night to day,

From dismal and gray,

To vibrant and dynamic color,

In an instant.

 

You took a dead soul,

And made it a living soul.

And in that moment,

I finally knew what it was,

To be alive.

 

I remember it.

Still thrill at the moments.

And I’m even more amazed,

Looking back,

Knowing that all the joy and rush,

Was the breath and hand,

Of the Almighty God.

 

God who knew me,

Before I was born.

And who chased and pursued me,

All my life.

 

God who was with me,

In every moment and season.

Every horrible choice,

And every moment,

Of the torture of the soul.

 

God who was there with me,

In the pit of all my torment.

Gently calling to me.

Gently urging me.

And in ways I knew not then,

Gently inching me forward,

Out of the prison of death I had chosen,

And into His life.

 

I look back now,

And I see how You frustrated me,

And the frustration growing,

Was Your deliverance calling.

And the wrestling angst,

Was a new life,

Being born.

 

Your Spirit was being born,

Inside of me.

And I was being born,

Again.

 

And there was much tearing,

And bleeding,

And screaming agony.

 

But the moment the new life came,

All the pain was transformed,

Into beauty.

And all the aching,

Part of the journey,

And the treasure.

 

You are God who chose me,

And guided my soul,

From death to life.

 

I worship You,

Because it’s that worship,

That is my very life.

 

And the first thing I felt,

When You breathed on me,

Was joy.

 

And it’s the one thing,

I had always wanted,

And never ever tasted.

 

And I remember the first time I tasted it,

I was filled with joy,

At being filled with joy!

 

And of all the miracles You have done in me,

This is the most profound.

And this is the treasure,

I cherish most.

Joy.

 

What I never knew,

And never felt,

For years.

All my life.

 

And You took me from the darkness of despair,

And blasted my soul with such a light,

And so many colors,

I genuinely felt,

Like a giddy child.

 

And I cherish that moment,

And that memory,

And this miracle.

 

My soul tasted joy in You,

And my soul filled with worship,

And I knew,

This is what it is,

To be alive.

 

I tasted joy in You,

And immediately I lost a taste,

For all other things.

 

It’s like my soul was created,

For this alone.

For the knowing of You in worship,

And the filling with joy,

At Your glory.

 

I tasted You,

And my soul,

Was complete.

 

And now I live for nothing more,

Than to stay in the joy,

Of knowing You.

 

I was created to rejoice in You.

And this is all that I know.

And so I live to fill,

With the worship of You.

And to learn,

How to exhale it.

 

I am never more content,

Or full,

Or thrilled,

Than when I am worshiping You.

 

This has become,

My life’s obsession,

And my soul’s addiction.

 

I am obsessed,

With the worship of You.

And I am glad to be so.

I will give my self wholeheartedly to this.

For now my soul knows,

What it is to truly live.

And there is no going back.

I have tasted joy.

 

I have thrilled at You,

And I am ruined for lesser things.

And now all I do,

Is a pursuit,

To know You more.

 

And though I stumble,

And fall along the way,

Yet the same God who has pursued me,

And drawn me,

All my life,

Still holds me in His hand,

And guides my soul,

Along His path of life,

And peace.

 

And I grow,

Despite myself.

And it’s a miracle, really.

All this life that my soul comes to see,

And to taste,

And to become.

It’s a miracle.

 

That I am able and allowed,

To see the Living God,

To behold His glory there on the page,

And in the heart,

With unveiled face,

Is astonishing.

 

That His Spirit lives in me,

And speaks and guides my heart,

And life,

From the inside out,

Astounds me.

 

My heart,

My soul,

My life,

Is a miracle.

And I tremble as I walk,

And live,

And breathe,

On holy ground.

 

God who took me from darkness,

And brought me into color and light.

God who drew me up out of death,

And filled my chest with life.

I can never thank You enough,

For the gift that You’ve given me.

 

Your life swells in my chest,

And I am broken by the miracle,

And tremble with gratitude,

At the way my heart,

Can thrill at You.

 

This gift that You’ve given,

That I can thrill at You.

O, beautiful God,

There is no greater gift,

You could give me!

 

What You have given me,

Is priceless beyond words.

And I am forever Yours,

For You have given me life,

And made me to live.

 

You have given me Yourself,

And You have given me the gift,

Of being able to thrill,

At Your beauty,

And worth.

 

I rejoice in who You are,

And I know what it is,

To be fully alive.

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